Real Love part II: You already there
I am a big proponent of the 7 P's. You know Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance. I think that is important in any endeavor. One should be prepared and well educated even in matters of love. While I think some folks should slow their roll (like coming out of a 5 year horrible relationship or just out of prison), I find that most folks are able to get into a new relationship.
Too many times, I hear people tell other folks that they need to make sure they get "right" before getting into a relationship. While I don't know what they mean by getting "right" I know it comes from a Christian centered, patriarchal world view. They say things like "you can't turn a hoe into a housewife" or other dumb things such as that.
Again, I say we should focus on the hear and now. So what if he was known for being the stud on campus. As long as he doesn't have 100 children by 50 different women, it shouldn't matter right? As long as that person protected his or her self through safe sex and no one was exploited or abused, it shouldn't matter. We worry so much about what that person did the day before we met that it becomes ridiculous. We can't control the past. It's already happened.
If someone loves someone enough, he or she will get rid of all the bad habits. If someone loves someone enough, he or she will make the necessary changes to make things work. Of course, there will be bumps along the way but aren't we all works in progress? Isn't getting into a healthy relationship a way for all of us to become better people? Isn't that the entire point?
So listen up folks, let me be the first to say it: you are ready now. You are okay the way you are.
I am sure like the rest of humanity, you aren't perfect but you can work things out. There is nothing wrong with that. It's called growth and maturity. It's called learning. It's called becoming a better person. It's something we should all aspire to do.
Most important, don't forget to have fun. I think when it comes to intimate relationships we forget that. We get so focused on putting our best foot forward, that we end up mucking things up. We get so worried about looking and acting the right way, we lose ourselves. When that person pops up, we act like we don't know them. So instead of creating facades, we should just be ourselves. If that person digs us enough, they will dig all of us.